Today is HUGE. My 17 year old son is preaching his first sermon at church tonight. That might not seem like such a big deal until you know the back story.
The truth is, Dustin preached his first sermon 14 years ago tomorrow when he was 3 1/2. That was the worst day in my life. I had just been served divorce papers from my estranged husband and I was nothing more than a puddle of self pity on the floor of my living room watching the TV coverage of the Oklahoma City Bombing and wondering if I really wanted to live any more.
Dustin couldn't understand why I was such a mess. And as much as I loved my four small children, I couldn't seem to pull myself up by my own bootstraps. I was crying all the time. Bubba (as we called Dustin back then) came up to me and put his fat little arms around me to console me and get my attention. Then he asked the saddest question I've ever heard. "Mommy, If I go to live with Grandma do you think Daddy might come home?"
That sweet little three year old future man thought that he was the reason his father had left.
And his words sank in deep. It was as if Bubba had opened his mouth and God had spoken. There are reasons God hates divorce. It is a lie from the pit of hell that a child can come through a divorce unharmed. It rocks their worlds and forever affects their image of God. And I knew 100% at that time that Kevin and I were gravely outside of the will of God. The conviction hung heavy on my back. A burden I could not carry.
I was exactly where God wanted me to be at that moment. Broken.
Then the TV reporter announced a story that was not related to the Oklahoma City Bombing. This was the first piece of non-bombing news I had heard in 4 days. Three thirteen year old boys had been killed in Duncan, Oklahoma in an oilfield accident.
It was like God tapped me on my shoulder. "Andrea, get up. Those moms have lost their sons. You still have yours. Get up and pray for those moms instead of feeling sorry for yoursef."
So I did. I began praying. And the very act of praying is what began to heal my broken heart and lift me out of that pit of self pity and despair. Read the rest of that story: http://www.andreadecker.com/my-checkers-story
Three weeks later Kevin came home. Dustin, with his chubby little limbs, his buzz cut blond hair, and his huge heart ran to his father. "Daddy, I knew you'd come home, I knew you'd come home!"
And I've pondered that in my heart for fourteen years.
Dustin believes he is preaching his first sermon tonight. But I know the truth.
Posted on Wed, April 22, 2009
by Andrea Decker filed under